If you live in the US, you should be well aware by now that we do not live in a “free” country. Taxes, political corruption by special interest groups, and mainstream media do an awesome job of keeping us slaves to the system. Of course most of us are slaves to our job, and at the very least “have” to be certain places at certain times even if we don’t really want to be. Yes, we all have to abide by the laws of the land, or risk our freedom being taken from us. We all trade some part of ourselves for something we deem worth it. But this isn’t the subject of my post today. That is a whole other discussion for another time.
That’s not to say that a man can’t change his situation with any of the above. If he wishes, he certainly can. If you don’t like the country you’re in, you can move to a different country where the laws and taxes are different. If you don’t like your job, you can get a different one, or start your own business. Etc…Etc…..
I want to take it down a couple of levels and talk about your personal freedom(within the confines of the system you are living). And more precisely, your personal freedom in your relationships. Specifically your relationships with women. Here’s the thing, most of us have FAR more freedom than we exercise on a daily basis. We ALWAYS have a choice. It’s just that we live with the illusion of lack of options. ESPECIALLY in the “relationship” game. This is the biggest power leak of all time. Why do we have the perception of lack of options anyway?
The modern standard for relationships (and what most of us men are taught we need to do in order to get sex) is monogamy. One man and one woman sexually faithful to only each other. I’m sure most of you think there are only two options when it comes to relationships. Single, or in a monogamous relationship (girlfriend/wife). And in western society, you’d be correct in that these are the only two types of alternatives that are socially acceptable.
The problem with monogamy, is it simply doesn’t work. In fact, I’m here to tell you it doesn’t work for men OR for women. Let me explain.
We all know that LIFETIME marriage is extraordinarily rare. How rare? Mathematical examination of studies say only about 13% of people (in the US) will stay married and NOT CHEAT for life (or into very old age). So that’s an 87% FAILURE rate for monogamy. What’s even scarier is that of the 87% of monogamous relationships that end, 82% of those are ended by the woman in that relationship. But why?
Well, simply put, women get bored. Women are genetically designed to be serial monogamists. That is to say, their biological programming for propagation of the human species makes them WANT to find a suitable mate, make a baby, then after the child is “out of the woods” so to speak, she WANTS to find another man, and repeat the process. This is the best way for her to make sure her offspring have genetic variation AND to insure that the child is protected when it is at its most vulnerable.
Men, well, you know the answer to this one. We are biologically designed to spread our seed to as many women as we can. This is our role in genetic variation and propagation of the species.
So the problem is this. We live in a society where monogamous relationships are the gold standard for getting sex. So most of us guys roll along with the flow and do our level best to “be a good man” and fulfill our role in society by figuring out the best way to get a monogamous girlfriend/wife.
Things are great at first because she is programmed to actually WANT to have sex with us in the beginning, but after awhile, she slowly starts losing interest in sex. Of course, you’re a “good man” and as such, she is your only source of sex. You miss sex. You NEED sex. So, she eventually recognizes that she has ALL the power in the relationship because SHE IS THE SOLE SOURCE OF SOMETHING YOU NEED in order to be happy. Because of the promise of monogamy you made to this woman, you are FORCED to compromise yourself in ways you normally wouldn’t just for the “promise” of sex.
I suspect any of us guys that have found ourselves in such a relationship for longer than 3 years know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. So what is the solution you might ask? I mean I guess you could cheat, but, you’re a “good man,” and you know that if you take that route anyway, eventually, you’ll get caught. And we all know that is some SERIOUS drama right there. I am against drama. Hell, I don’t even really like conflict at all.
May I present a 3rd option? Ditch the monogamous controlling woman who no longer really wants to have sex with you anyway and GET GOOD WITH WOMEN. When you’re good with women, you have OPTIONS. OPTIONS are the KEY to power in a relationship, or life in general. OPTIONS allow you to do what the fuck you want to do when the fuck you want to do it.
Here’s a little secret guys. Chicks want sex too. And they LOVE to fuck dudes who ARE HIGH VALUE. Guys who are high value have OPTIONS.
Here’s secret number two. There are MANY women (especially younger ones) who are 100% OK with casual type relationships, such as Friends With Benefits.
So, the moral of the story; Get good with women, get you a couple of solid FWB’s, and continue “dating around” as much or as little as you like. If one FWB falls out of rotation, you are plenty good with women to replace her. Congratulations, you now have OPTIONS. You now have your power back. And you may now live your life on your terms (at least until you have to be at work)
Until next time, here’s to being THE man.