IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT?
Wow. I don’t know how this isn’t PLAINLY obvious to us dudes, but it’s come to my attention that many of us simply can not grasp WHY sex is so important.
On the surface, it can seem pretty shallow. There are many more fulfilling and important things that contribute to a person’s overall happiness than the act of coitus. A few that come to mind off the top of my head are Health, spirituality, helping others, love, and companionship. The list could go on and on, and of course will vary slightly from individual to individual.
Here’s where the problem arises. All those things are truly great and good, but to focus on such things before sexual fulfillment is putting the cart before the horse. Or more accurately, trying to build the roof before you’ve poured the foundation. It’s like worrying about how hungry you are while you’re drowning. Put simply, there exists a hierarchy of needs. Some shit is more important than other shit, and thusly takes precedence.
Built into men is a deep driving BIOLOGICAL need to HAVE SEX. We can choose to ignore it. We can decide that it’s not AS important as things of a higher spiritual nature, or we can simply lie to ourselves about it because we’re conditioned by society to believe this biological drive somehow makes us “bad people.”
Doing any of that devalues one of the foundations of true happiness, and leaves us with a feeling of “something’s missing.” As you can see above, even Maslow puts SEX as a physiological need, and sexual intimacy just above those basic survival and security associated needs. For a modern man, even “sexual intimacy” is pretty high on the list.
I’ll argue, if you have an internet connection to be able to read this, you are WAY past the point of having to worry about the “safety” level. That shit is handled, and well under control. So to downplay the importance of sexual fulfillment is a great disservice to your overall happiness.
Now, the crux of the problem for most dudes isn’t realizing “sex is important.” That is usually plainly obvious to most of us. It’s that we are raised up from a young age to believe that there is a special someone that holds the keys to your happiness. Your “soulmate.” The Yin to your Yang.
I can hear some of you guys shaking your heads up and down and saying, “YES!” This is what I’m looking for. I’m a good guy! I’m just looking for a relationship with the right woman. One who is good to me and appreciates how well I treat her. I’m a prince and I cant wait to find my princess so I can treat her like the royalty she is.
What’s the problem with that you may be asking? Well, prince charming, it’s cause you’re not a prince yet. You’re still a frog. You see, princes have power. They have options. They KNOW how women REALLY want to be treated because they have real world experience with all the beautiful girls in the kingdom.
Women WANT to be with these powerful, confident, leaders of men. You, prince frog, are simply GRATEFUL for the CHANCE to show these women how good of a guy you are by giving them everything they want, and expecting NOTHING in return except for their appreciation.
Damn Kermit! isn’t the problem becoming more clear now? Just take a second to put the shoe on the other foot. How would you feel if you had a girl treat you like this? Call or text you all the time just to “check in” or “see what you were up to”? Tell you repeatedly how handsome and awesome you are, and how special you are to them? All the while expecting (and getting) NOTHING in return.
Well, it’d be pretty fucking awkward, and you would KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that she was much lower value than you. I mean, you might keep her around just for the validation and ego stroke, but you would never treat her seriously. You would never consider her a serious candidate for a “serious” relationship.
It may come as a surprise to you, but it’s human nature to take full advantage of people. To take everything someone is willing to give. Usually the more they do, the less it’s appreciated. It may also come as a surprise that women will absolutely do this in a heartbeat to a dude who gives them validation. They will happily accept ALL you offer in terms of money, attention, compliments, dates, dinners, and drinks, and never even consider that you might actually want something in return. Why?
Cause women are already princesses. They have countless dudes doing exactly that to them ALL the damn time. They have OPTIONS and they KNOW IT. They KNOW beyond the shadow of a doubt that they can get exactly what they want from a guy because if you won’t give it to them, some other dude will.
This is why it’s IMPERATIVE to become good with women. Good at getting women. Good at getting what you WANT from women. So you can do the same thing they do. So you can have options. Options will always equate to power. Options will always give you freedom.
I’m not saying you can’t have a “special” relationship with one woman. But until you KNOW you’re able to go out, attract women, and get your sexual needs met easily and quickly, you’re gonna be at her mercy. You’re going to be under her thumb. She’ll have you by the balls and she will KNOW it.
That is how getting good with women can help you have the relationship of your dreams. Have them little miss piggy’s lining up at your lilly pad for a year, and then you MIGHT be able to crown one that’s worthy of sharing in your royal kingdom.
Ultimately, our goal is consistent long term happiness. That goes MUCH deeper than “just sex.” But getting good with women (how to get laid on your terms) is a crucial step in the process.
So, if you feel like you don’t deserve long term happiness, or don’t think the pursuit of such an endeavor is valiant, then don’t bother learning how to be your best. Keep thinking that you KNOW what women want. Keep waiting on your lilly pad for that princess to come and kiss your warty frog ass face. But please, please stop fucking whining about how you’re always mistreated and taken advantage of, and how guys like me who are good with women are misogynistic assholes who “just want sex.” Let me know how that works out for you. Or actually, don’t. I already know.
Until next time, here’s to being THE man.