This is going to be an important one today. The “salesman” metaphor fits VERY well within the scope of “game,” or “pick up.” Nearly every single one of us has had the experience of being sold something, so it’s a reference of common ground to which we can all relate. Isn’t game or pick up just another form of selling yourself? Kinda like a job interview for sex? So many of us (myself included) think of a greasy used car salesman when we think of guys out chasing tail, or trying to pick up chicks.
I want to first be clear. WANTING to have sex, AND taking action in order to obtain your desires, does NOT make you a bad person in any way shape or form. My stance on this issue should be perfectly clear if you’ve read anything on this site. Hell, the reason this site exists is to give men the tools they need to do just that.
I’m sure you’ve had the experience of being sold a product or service that was extremely over-hyped by a salesman. This guy was willing to say or do anything with the sole purpose of lining his pockets with the commission. The sleazy used car salesman selling lemons to buyers unaware comes to mind.
On the other end of the spectrum, we have the salesman who is selling a very useful product or service to you. This salesman KNOWS his product is going to actually help you or improve your quality of life in some way. This guy doesn’t have to write checks with his mouth his ass can’t cash. His product is VALUABLE, therefore he is VALUABLE to you, and you come away from the sale with a sense of appreciation for his time and attention.
In the world of pickup, it can “seem” like all we as men are doing is trying to get something we want (sex) with little to no regard for anyone else’s interests. Society certainly will try to make you see it this way. So why do people hold this perception?
One of the biggest reasons is because the stereotypical “player” is a manipulative and deceitful douche. Basically, the player has to rely on lying or over-hyping himself, therefore he is selling a much less valuable product. Whenever he is found out, and his true stripes revealed, women are left with a feeling of being duped. As well they should. After all, they just got the lemon. Hell even the terms we use in “pick up” have deceitful overtones. Game, Closing, etc. make it sound like it’s just a big joke, or that it’s funny somehow that we “get” to have sex because we are good at the game.
The purpose of my site is to ACTUALLY help you become the man you want to be. Sure, there are a handful of douchebags that get off on pulling one over on somebody, BUT I honestly don’t believe that most of us men out there are that type of person. We’re good people with good hearts, who don’t want to lie, cheat, steal, and manipulate. So what am I saying? Put simply, I’m talking about not having to be a salesman at all. I’m talking about making yourself into a product that sells itself. I’m talking about ACTUALLY BECOMING THE MAN WHO IS ATTRACTIVE TO WOMEN.
I’m talking about PRODUCT DEVELOPMENT. You have your basic model (you as you are now). You get feedback on the product as it stands, and you take strides to improve the product. After implementing said improvements, you do some more research, get some more feedback, and repeat the process. You do this to the point that YOU are satisfied the product is a true and solid product of VALUE. The underhanded salesman who relies on deception will never truly be proud of himself. He will never have a high sense of self-esteem. Because he KNOWS his product is worthless, therefore he is worthless.
You still with me? Good, because there’s a problem with this system that may not be overtly obvious to the casual observer. We’ve all been doing the feedback/improve/test protocol in some form or another for the entirety of our lives. When’s the last time you let out a big fart around strangers and laughed about it, or picked your nose and chased the girl you like around with the booger?
So why isn’t the product where we need it to be? Why are we not getting the results with women that we truly desire? Why are we not completely content with our sex lives as they stand? Well, because what most of us do is use societal standards for our feedback. In a nutshell, society tells us all that we’re all special little snowflakes and we are “good enough” just the way we are. It gives us specific “rules” to follow to “fit in.” It does a fantastic job of molding our thoughts and ideals to make us not rock the boat in any way. It imprints in our minds a Disney-like world of what SHOULD make us happy, but it doesn’t.
Basically, society teaches us to be good. I wish I could dig up the exact quote, or tell you who it’s by, but it goes something like this.
“A man can be good, and happy sometimes, or he can be happy, and good all the time.”
I spent the first 36 years of my life being “good.” There’s a solid chance, if you’re not really happy most of the time, you’ve done the same. I never broke the rules, stepped out of the box, put myself out there, or even took 10 seconds to ponder what ACTUALLY made me happy.
But the minute I did. The minute I looked at myself in the mirror and acknowledged that a big part of what I wanted was to have sex with hot women, I KNEW that I wasn’t going to be able to drift along with what society deems “good.” I KNEW it meant the end of my monogamous marriage. I KNEW, it meant losing the 70+ pounds of fat I had drooping around my midsection. I KNEW it meant putting work into my social skills. I KNEW it meant product development. I KNEW it meant actually becoming a better man, and striving to be the best I could be in every area of life I deemed important.
Now, I’ll be honest with you. Since making the changes, there have been some really uncomfortable things I’ve had to deal with. Since it took me till I was a bit on the older side to realize some of this stuff, you wouldn’t believe how often I’ve heard the term “midlife crisis” thrown at me. I’ve had people call me names like douchebag and creep. I’ve been labeled arrogant on more than a few occasions, but it’s because SOME people are legit intimidated by my being.
Simply put, I’m not like most other men. I’m different. I’m better in many ways, and I KNOW it. You can’t help but walk around a bit taller, and ACTUALLY BE more confident in your interactions with people when this is the case. It’s bound to put some folks off, or make them uncomfortable around you. Here’s an actual text from a woman I’m currently “seeing” to give you an idea of what I’m talking about.
And this chick is probably about an 8 to me in the looks department, being only a few tweaks away from a 9. Shit, I consider myself a 7 in looks on a good day, but SHE is INTIMIDATED by ME. By MY looks and my STRONG MASCULINE personality. Get it?
So what’s it all mean? We don’t have just an either/or prospect when it comes to our sex lives. We don’t have to be a HOPELESS CHUMP or a SLEAZY PLAYER. All we have to do, is take a little bit of time to decide what it is that WE want in life. Decide society can go fuck itself, and go get it with aggression and passion. We can be men of HIGH value AND have HIGH moral standards. We don’t have to lie, cheat, or manipulate to get what we want. All we have to do is WORK for it. Our labor bears the fruit of our desires. Don’t be the scumbag used car salesman. Be a true man of actual value and SUBSTANCE. It may be much harder to achieve, but it will also be much more rewarding.
Until next time, here’s to being THE man.
The Alpha Within